Sunday, February 17, 2013

 It all counts because of "You"
 
Love is here every day, All around us, and especially it has feelings. Each day people experience new things, never expect such a wonderful thing to happen. It could happen right now, a minute, months or few years, but there is always that someone, or something that will make you never to forget and never to let go.

You see, when I was a kid I thought that the meaning of "love" was all about holding hands, and kissing. But until the day where I felt a pain in my chest, A pain that my fun times, and happiness just disappeared. That's when I new it was because of one boy. Having puppy love in the past also has a meaning even though I didn't feel the word "love". I learned how to like a boy, and that was my first experience, to define what I can do more than just like.

The years that I've lived in, 17 years almost 18. I have never felt so happy, never felt so blessed. In our lives, we have special, amazing people to be there when we need them, to motivate us to be or do better. Family is always the first to come, and is everyone's priority. Everyone has a number 1 hero. 

Now I, I have someone who's my one and only hero, My number one priority, My motivation, My inspiration, My world, My everything. 
I've never been so happy, So blessed to have an amazing guy like Patrick Kim. I feel like this is my first relationship where It feels so beautiful to be in love. AMAZING that's who he is. A word that can't describe how wonderful a man like him is. It feels like years since we've been dating, but it's only been 1 month. The happiness, and pain crashed so quickly... It really does feel like years hasn't it? .... 

Babe, I love you. I know you're going through a lot, But I don't want anything little to stop you from living. You may be stressed, upset, how ever you feel, it's always going to come by and crash you down, But crying a river from your pain isn't going to flood you happiness or make your mind forget about your situation you put or what ever your going through, but just miserable pain. Happiness is always hard to seek because sometimes you might feel like no matter what you do it isn't getting through anywhere or making a change in your life, but in order to come through the darkness you need to take action of your responsibilities. You have a mission to accomplish, Better ways to provide for yourself, Better things to take care of, and better ways to have a better life. You have a lot of opportunities but you don't think of taking it because you are afraid to fail. I feel that way to, When you say I don't understand you, My words may not match your standards of how you feel, But inside me I feel your pain for some reason... I feel that dirty blue sucking ugly ass heart pain running through your whole body pain. 

When you cry, it really does hurt to see the one I love cry because All I want to do is make you smile, and change your life to have no more tears shedding for haters, blaming yourself, reminiscing the pass. I am here to take action, and actually follow through to my promises That I have given to you. It may take a lot of work to actually never to make you shed a tear for ungrateful things, But I will do the best I can to stand up for you and fight through any hurt feelings others put you through or us going through our downs.

I know you still think about the way you hurt me. I feel hurt also, I will think about how mean you were to do that, But that didn't stop me from loving you. No matter what, nothing will stop me from loving you. Kissing another girl, I can handle that. That is something I don't need to put on top of my situations that I'm already going through in my life babe. Like I tell you, I have better things to take care of, and that " better " is you. I care and love you so much that I put that front of the mistake that you made. Don't ever think I lost that respect for you, You gain everything back from that night when you came over... Seeing you was so hurtful but yet amazing how I've never met a guy who would do that for me to apologize face to face, Cry in front of me. 

When I say I love you more, I know no matter what our relationship and feeling for each other is equal, even though you made a simple mistake, I know okay... Maybe it wasn't a simple mistake, But I know you love me so much, You would give up everything right? Will Don't. When we are ready we can talk it through, and know what's better in our life. I want us to last, You are my last babe, I don't want anyone else but you in my life. My happiness is you, I can't take my happiness away when it means so daym much to me. 

What ever you went through, What ever sadness is running through your mind, FORGET about it. Forget about the ugly things that's striking you down, What ever if it's People talking rude things about you behind your back, FORGET about it. You don't diverse those words they speak out, Those words they say are coming right out back at them. People like that don't know the meaning of mistakes that people make every day, Loving someone so much sometimes you tend to hurt them one way or another. That's the meaning of love to. It's not always about " Oh I love you so much I can't hurt you ever ". I bet sometimes I hurt you to, and I am sorry if I ever did. 

I'm not quitting anything between us, Or going to forget about you that easily. Like you said " We can't go nowhere but up" That's true. What do we have to fear right? I love you, You have the strength to do anything right in your own way, So show it. Don't be afraid. 

So..... Why is my title " It all counts because of "you" ?
everything I do, Is about you, This is why I say it's team work when it's you and I. I can't move on, I can't start my new chapter in my life unless you're here, Unless you are in this relationship with me. Until you are out of my life that's when everything wont count because you aren't here But because you are in my life as my best friend/ Boyfriend. It all counts to live happy, freely, and having the memories that will last a billion years..

I'm right here, right by your side. I'm not going anywhere, and If I do... I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME! <3

SMILE BIG :D let those teeth stick out fresh and white for the fuckers who hurt you, but also SMILE for ME :) 

I got your back babe. When ever you need me... JUST CALL ME! 
at.. 206-327... Lol you know my Number babe. I love you <3 

Forever and Always baby. 

 By the way... 1/12/13 is a dope ass number. (:


Monday, February 11, 2013

Triggering a bullet through my chest


The feeling when the heart feels like it's about to plop out of your ass. The feeling when everything inside you is heating up. The pain when it hits, tears coming down masscara shitting down the face. I've been shot a thousand times in the back, but not in the chest. Daym it fucking hurts. This is real pain.