Monday, June 3, 2013

You were my friend

It's sad to see a friend of mine walk away to someone else. It's sad to see a friend of mine put more time into someone else than me. Every step of the way, her happiness will always count. Every step of the way I will always support whatever she decides to do but... that's if she even realizes me in front of her.

We use to waste awesome times together, getting in trouble for the stupidest reasons by our parents, eat Mc donalds like there's no tomorrow, Take a 2 hour long walk, Make fun of each other, Make music, writing our blogs together, Playing games, making fun of people... You know that kind of stuff, that kind of best friendship that we use to have.

I wish you'd take a second to realize how I feel instead of just how your boyfriend feels. I wish you can look back at me and realize how many times you've pushed me back when someone else came into your life. I wish when you said you will do your best to put more time into us, I wish that happened. I wish you put effort into our friendship when that was the strongest thing in our life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy that you found someone in your life to love and cherish, but that doesn't mean forget about everything that was there before he was, before you even new him, before he even existed in your life.

I never left you out, never once forgot about you, never once left you hanging when you needed company, never ignored your calls or text or messages on Facebook, Never denied a hang out when you asked but when it comes to me? I'm not an existence in your life, I'm not near your mind or even crossed your mind.

When I had a boyfriend I never gave up on our friendship in fact my boyfriends in my past almost broke up with me because I put our best friendship in front of everything because that's how important our friendship was. Even now I still didn't put my love relationship in front of our friendship but now I see who you are, I see what you do when someone else comes into your life. You forget about what was ever there before. Throwing me out like a piece of paper.


I always told you from the very beginning, when you get into a relationship someday, don't forget about us, don't forget about our best friendship because boyfriends are never your everything, they come and go all the time, beginning of relationships always seem like the only one you're going to have, and some do last but that doesn't apply to every person In this world. Do you understand I ask? and you said Yes. How so?

Life is short and I cherish the people I love the most in my life because they've done a lot towards my life and made me happy and made me become a better person. You were one of them. You were one of those people who actually did more then what others wouldn't do. You made me laugh the hardest out of everyone.

What am I to you? once a month hang out? I'm not someone who you can just see once a month, Did you forget? I was your best friend, I was the one who put all my time into, Failed school because of you, Got in trouble because of you, took risk because of you, Failed to my goals because of you, did everything to make you happy as well, which I never forgot the good times to. I always cared about your education always made sure you did this and that, I wonder if your boyfriend ever even consider for you NOT to skip school?

Why do you think I broke up with Joe? because he was so clingy, he wanted all my times, I skipped school because of him, I thought he was the one of my life because of how nice he is, but really in the end when you break up, you'll look back and realize how much time you shouldn't of put those times in your boyfriend. I would have graduated, I would have got my diploma and get the fuck out of Renton High School. Remember the family you and I wanted? You, Cholo, Joe, and me? Will I'm not in that picture, In fact I hated that image. I didn't belong there because I'm someone that wants to achieve and get far in life, not stay home and skip school or do lazy things all the time. That wasn't the adventure I wanted.

Someday you're going to really need me, Someday when a reverse happens and he lets you go, the first person you're going to cry to is me, unless if you hide in your room all alone because you don't want to hear me say I told you so.

Someday you're going to understand how it feels to be let go, how it feels to be pushed back. Someday when you need me there, I'm not going to be there. Because I'm going to think your boyfriend is there, I'm going to take he can take care of your emotions and feelings. It's not my job anymore right? It's not my job to be there for you, it's not my job to protect you, it's not my job to feed you when your hungry, it's not going to be my job to hug you and wipe your tears when you cry because that's going to be all his jobs. So I hope he does a good job of it because the person I use to be...
Was your best friend. and you... Were my sister, my friend, my best friend.