Sunday, April 14, 2013

My Beginning, My Story, My End

I'm not as different then every other girl. I have sensitive feelings like everyone else, and I tend to get mad at things that don't even matter. I'm really not that different. But one thing I'm different though, is that, I stay for certain situations, someones life when it means that much to me. I tend to clinch up my fist and fight through it no matter how hard my situation is or how bad it's beating me down. I'm still crawling out of my way in every possibility to make things right.

As I grow older, I will end up losing people, things, even if they're important. Losing a best friend, that's okay, she'll always be my best friend in my heart. Maybe we didn't grow up together in the same house, but we've known each other for a long time. Boys that hurt me, So many experience, and yet I still manage to move on and live without one, even though now I have someone who truly loves me for who I am. Finally right?.

I wish I can always take the easy route, because... I just want to finish everything quickly, and move on to the next part of my life, but living life is not about rushing through things, it's about, Spending the best, and worse moments in your life because we all only live once. It's a once in a life time chance to actually make something out of my life. I hate being a failure because I will step on myself even more if I don't like what I did. I hate crying because it hurts more. I hate calling myself stupid because I know better. I hate not using my brain even though it's there, I don't think hard enough even though I know I'm a smart girl.

My beginning, My story, and My end, has many many many things to express about. I haven't met my ending yet, but i just recently started my beginning with someone. That someone is incredible.

He's not just the one who loves me more then anyone has, but has also hurt me more then anyone has ever had. Our relationship has a timeline where everything happened so quickly, it's like we've been together for years, but yet it's been only 3 months. 3 months and bad things already got involved. I can't say he was to good to be true because everyone makes mistakes.

Why do I still love him? and Why do I still care for him?

Everything that he has done for me, there is more to it. A mistake can never add up to what he has done for me. Yet, If It was that easy to let him go even though he has kissed another girl, In the end I know I still love him. There is nothing I am afraid of except for him leaving me. I am dying afraid of that happening because if he leaves, How will I start my story? Our story has not begun yet, it is just the beginning.

I love him because he has everything that I need. A heart. A mans heart who is willing to give up everything for his women. A human being who is able to walk thousands of miles for his women. No matter how much he has lied, even right in my face as he apologize, I still yet believe, and trust every word he said. Are those tears just to back him up? Or are they foreals. I still can't yet understand why he would do such a thing, but in the end, everything is okay.

I guess, I have felt the worst pain, that there is no other pain in this relationship that can hurt me more, unless if he leaves, or he's gone in this world, then I would kill myself because he means that much to me.

He makes me so happy, He makes me laugh, He makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, Maybe not the only girl in the world, But the one who he calls beautiful, and cute. Music has brung us into a conclusion, falling inlove with music is amazing. It's a vibe that him and I feel, everytime, and every day.

So to answer the question, why do I still love him? Why do I care?

I love him because he's real, he's someone who I feel alive with, Saddness, and happiness at the same time. Without that, this relationship is just a zombie. But with everything that he has done, He has showed me so many different places, and yet, He created new memories with me that is now in front of my image to think about every single day when I feel upset, or sick. He brung music, Yes Music, Back to me and Music is the most important thing in my life, How can I live without my Music.

What I'm trying to say is....

Without him, None of this could have been possible, I would of never experienced. None of this. I would of never tried harder as a person, as a Human being. None of this without him, I would of never been able to cure my own pain, Without him, I would of never had such a strong bonding with my family. Without him... I wouldn't really of known how my feelings really meant until someone had to prove me there is someone out there who understands, who has been through the same.

He has a similiar story as I do, maybe not exact, but a similiar story where I am able to create a conversation with him.

He brings the light into my life. He brings the perfect image even when it rains. He brings the best in me. and I know for a fact, He, will bring US, to forever. And so will I.

He is my beginning, My story, and my ending.


We're the kings and queens today.

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