Thursday, July 11, 2013

Chapter


Dear You,

I hope one day you can find it in your heart to love me as I have loved you: emphatically, and unconditionally. I hope you forgive my failures and celebrate my successes. I hope you won’t give up on me when I am too flawed to be loved. I hope the future I want is the future that we both want to have and that it’ll include waking up to your scent from your amazing hair and that breath of life that's always so close to mine. I hope one day you can lean on my shoulder and know that every ounce of me is yours for support. I hope you know how much to heart and agony and anguish I took upon myself and still am for that shit I've put you through--that pain and gunshot wounds from the battlefield I've thrown to you twice, but no more. I hope you really did forgive me and that we moved on from it, and that you know how much I'm sorry for that and won't ever do it again. I hope you know that I will always strive to win this competition between myself and your doubts and that as long as I can manage a breath, I will never stop giving up on you nor us and won't ever stop trying to win back your love, Malissa. Your love will always be the ultimate reward. Your love is all that I need that God provided for me, whom answered my most deepest prayer of all: to be worth something to someone and to be loved, to know what true love is. You're whom I want to be with. Whom I love. And whom I adore. I want you and need you. I love you deeply, Beautiful. I love us. And I love our forever chapter... All cause of you. Please, don't ever forget that. Don't ever forget how much you mean to me. How much you mean everything to me and you're worth my heart Hell and back. I'm here.

Sincerely,
Me.

Malissa, you've shown me that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much effort I put into us, I won't ever be able to make us the perfect couple. We might seem like the perfect couple but we’re so far from that. We fight and yell and cry at each other, but at the end of the day, we’re together because we try. Because we know that we're worth for each other. Because we truly fucking LOVE each other. I see so many relationships end because problems never get fixed. People apologize for fighting and for starting it, but there’s always a want and a fight against that want. And while some apologize for the fight, nothing actually gets fixed. The key to our success, I think, is that you have the mindset where you know that we need to fix things as soon as there’s a problem, and you're teaching me that slowly but surely. I'm no longer going to run away from the problems. I'm no longer give up. Cause you never gave up on me. So I won't ever give up on myself, and for damn sure not going to give up on you nor us. We work hard to compromise and to give each other what we need the most.

Nothing comes to you easily. You always have to fight for what you love and love for what you fight for. You once told me that you can’t change your circumstances, only how you view them. And so this is how I choose to view what was given to me. Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. And I trust you with all my heart. I trust you enough to not show in front of you as some man trying to prove something to a woman, but I trust you more than enough to show you the real me--a simple kid who's hella in love with you and never hides no secrets and just giving you all that I got and can give. I want to question everything and sometimes even give up on myself at times, but you’ve shown me that it pays to have a little faith. So, thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for believing in me. Hell, thank you for loving me...

 

 

I know you're sleeping peacefully and tiredly, but i just want you to know that Im so thankful to have you in my life.. My gawd im so blessed to have such an amazing woman as you as my significant other.brother Ricky whos shown me some hella dope tracks, ima make a piece. A piece specifically of us. A piece where it can define all the things we went through, and all the things we'll go through in the future together, a piece where it tells struggle yet endurance, pain yet love, hurt yet strong. This piece, will be definitely for us.And for your family... each of them i have a great memory with. With Ricky, Jenny, your parents, even Stanley. Believe it or not, not only have you made such a tremendous impact in my life, but your family has made such an impact as well. I wont disappoint you. Im sick of failing and disappointing people. I wont disappoint you, nor your family. I will do better. I will be better. I am going to be better.I love you and let's keep our chapter going babe.



- You said you always read my blog. Just remember these words you told me. I never forgot them, you shouldn't either.

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