It all counts because of "You"
 
Love is here every day, All around us, and especially it has feelings. Each day people experience new things, never expect such a wonderful thing to happen. It could happen right now, a minute, months or few years, but there is always that someone, or something that will make you never to forget and never to let go.

You see, when I was a kid I thought that the meaning of "love" was all about holding hands, and kissing. But until the day where I felt a pain in my chest, A pain that my fun times, and happiness just disappeared. That's when I new it was because of one boy. Having puppy love in the past also has a meaning even though I didn't feel the word "love". I learned how to like a boy, and that was my first experience, to define what I can do more than just like.

The years that I've lived in, 17 years almost 18. I have never felt so happy, never felt so blessed. In our lives, we have special, amazing people to be there when we need them, to motivate us to be or do better. Family is always the first to come, and is everyone's priority. Everyone has a number 1 hero. 

Now I, I have someone who's my one and only hero, My number one priority, My motivation, My inspiration, My world, My everything. 
I've never been so happy, So blessed to have an amazing guy like Patrick Kim. I feel like this is my first relationship where It feels so beautiful to be in love. AMAZING that's who he is. A word that can't describe how wonderful a man like him is. It feels like years since we've been dating, but it's only been 1 month. The happiness, and pain crashed so quickly... It really does feel like years hasn't it? .... 

Babe, I love you. I know you're going through a lot, But I don't want anything little to stop you from living. You may be stressed, upset, how ever you feel, it's always going to come by and crash you down, But crying a river from your pain isn't going to flood you happiness or make your mind forget about your situation you put or what ever your going through, but just miserable pain. Happiness is always hard to seek because sometimes you might feel like no matter what you do it isn't getting through anywhere or making a change in your life, but in order to come through the darkness you need to take action of your responsibilities. You have a mission to accomplish, Better ways to provide for yourself, Better things to take care of, and better ways to have a better life. You have a lot of opportunities but you don't think of taking it because you are afraid to fail. I feel that way to, When you say I don't understand you, My words may not match your standards of how you feel, But inside me I feel your pain for some reason... I feel that dirty blue sucking ugly ass heart pain running through your whole body pain. 

When you cry, it really does hurt to see the one I love cry because All I want to do is make you smile, and change your life to have no more tears shedding for haters, blaming yourself, reminiscing the pass. I am here to take action, and actually follow through to my promises That I have given to you. It may take a lot of work to actually never to make you shed a tear for ungrateful things, But I will do the best I can to stand up for you and fight through any hurt feelings others put you through or us going through our downs.

I know you still think about the way you hurt me. I feel hurt also, I will think about how mean you were to do that, But that didn't stop me from loving you. No matter what, nothing will stop me from loving you. Kissing another girl, I can handle that. That is something I don't need to put on top of my situations that I'm already going through in my life babe. Like I tell you, I have better things to take care of, and that " better " is you. I care and love you so much that I put that front of the mistake that you made. Don't ever think I lost that respect for you, You gain everything back from that night when you came over... Seeing you was so hurtful but yet amazing how I've never met a guy who would do that for me to apologize face to face, Cry in front of me. 

When I say I love you more, I know no matter what our relationship and feeling for each other is equal, even though you made a simple mistake, I know okay... Maybe it wasn't a simple mistake, But I know you love me so much, You would give up everything right? Will Don't. When we are ready we can talk it through, and know what's better in our life. I want us to last, You are my last babe, I don't want anyone else but you in my life. My happiness is you, I can't take my happiness away when it means so daym much to me. 

What ever you went through, What ever sadness is running through your mind, FORGET about it. Forget about the ugly things that's striking you down, What ever if it's People talking rude things about you behind your back, FORGET about it. You don't diverse those words they speak out, Those words they say are coming right out back at them. People like that don't know the meaning of mistakes that people make every day, Loving someone so much sometimes you tend to hurt them one way or another. That's the meaning of love to. It's not always about " Oh I love you so much I can't hurt you ever ". I bet sometimes I hurt you to, and I am sorry if I ever did. 

I'm not quitting anything between us, Or going to forget about you that easily. Like you said " We can't go nowhere but up" That's true. What do we have to fear right? I love you, You have the strength to do anything right in your own way, So show it. Don't be afraid. 

So..... Why is my title " It all counts because of "you" ?
everything I do, Is about you, This is why I say it's team work when it's you and I. I can't move on, I can't start my new chapter in my life unless you're here, Unless you are in this relationship with me. Until you are out of my life that's when everything wont count because you aren't here But because you are in my life as my best friend/ Boyfriend. It all counts to live happy, freely, and having the memories that will last a billion years..

I'm right here, right by your side. I'm not going anywhere, and If I do... I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME! <3

SMILE BIG :D let those teeth stick out fresh and white for the fuckers who hurt you, but also SMILE for ME :) 

I got your back babe. When ever you need me... JUST CALL ME! 
at.. 206-327... Lol you know my Number babe. I love you <3 

Forever and Always baby. 

 By the way... 1/12/13 is a dope ass number. (:

Triggering a bullet through my chest

The feeling when the heart feels like it's about to plop out of your ass. The feeling when everything inside you is heating up. The pain when it hits, tears coming down masscara shitting down the face. I've been shot a thousand times in the back, but not in the chest. Daym it fucking hurts. This is real pain.

My mind... is BLANK.

...

....

My Last...

I've felt the notion of love, But i've also felt the anguish of shedding tears, broken picture frames of memories, smashed up gifts i've recieved. No kindness is perfect when having to contend perfection in love, facing reality on mistakes we've all proceed to make each and every day.
I've takened a long journey not just only to find true love, but to find Happiness within the darkness path roads while I seek a long adventure to maybe, just maybe assemble someone like me, going through what I want to succeed and maybe keep forever as I found a perfect match to equip my missing piece.

I've punish myself where blood was involved. I've given my all for dishonest ignorent people, but I still manage to stand tall even if it took me years to get back where I first once standed...

Without any Miss understanding, without wounds and cuts, without tears falling out. My eyes maybe blurry but I can see the truth and lies from the look on someones face without them giving me a speech. Without giving my patients, and body; I wouldn't of been able to study the truth meaning of strength.

I've changed not because of mistakes i've made, But a challenged I failed, and had to re face over and over again until I got to the point where I thought everything was pointless.

Facing fears is always the hardest movement to step up on, but with your heart beating fast, Mind thinking promptly, How will you ever know the true meaning of your fear.

YOU are worth everything. YOU diserve everything that you grant for. YOU have an amazing heart that beats for a girl like me, which I say I don't diserve, but from your past experienced, No ones ever tempered your heart right accurate.

I will be here to save you, I will be here to give you the time of my life, give you perfect memories, and a perfect past. I don't usually make promises, but I promise I will always be here to protect you from getting hurt... I may not have the package, but I can give you more then the best.

I'll always have faith in "US". You can be afraid, be worried, wonder to yourself? What if... "I don't think that way, What if I don't love you".

I will always love you, no matter how many mistakes you've made, Curses you've blamed yourself on. Giving a perfect chance to having to deal with things right, I'm never afraid to give and try... Especially with my baby, and that's "YOU" my LAST.

1/12/13 <3

Is it wrong for a man to speak out his heart? Is it wrong for a man, wanting the same impresson, or feeling? No. Infact it's never wrong for a man to even shed one single tear. Don't ever recollect the dreadful thoughts and spread it through your own emotion just because one thing went damaged, or wrong doesn't mean it's okay to let everything be cursed by you. You have an amazing heart. A life that is still operating well to actually move futhur. There's still some things here and there you want to convert, But what you're going through now is already ambitious to live for. Don't let others take control over your time, your choice of thoughts because of there row. You have to much to live for, and letting your tears fall down like rain is a part of it. Always know why you are still here. Understand why you give someone Inspiration, and making friends, relative happy. You make a huge impact in somebodys life, that they thought no one can. You made someone believe in passion, love, forever and always. Life, in your own times, there will always be parts that you can never manage, but considering, believing in yourself that there will always be better days to slide in to, to alter a new visual in your life about yourself or the world you're living in to make it a better place for you to see. It's always about approaching into better days. Moving forward, experiencing new opportunitys. Everyone is not complete, by means, everyone is not perfect. But... What you do makes yourself perfect. When someone like me say I love you........ I really do.  You thought it was really time for you to go back and restart a whole new chapter again, But until I said one simple word to you, You stopped. You took a chance even though maybe it wasn't going to work out. I want to be your inspiration throughout your life, Prove everything to you, why life is important, why I am here that is important. I am here to maybe not change everything in your life like you granted, I may not have a lot of money, or am the best looking women, But I have a heart that beats for you, and welling to sacrifice anything for you.

To forever be here to love you.

Our Chapter

Where do I start. He's inspiring, Greatful, and shows enthusiastic in my life. I have standed in the middle of a fight between love, I have felt the stranded pain in my body from the departed. Cuts and wounds on my arm. It was never a great feeling for me to be so inlove where I first landed. Happiness was something that I thought i planted in my life because of one simple guy who isn't that great, even when I said he was the only one. Wrong. I've wished  millions, Prayed while my kneese were weak. Cried until there isn't anymore weeping to shed. Falling inlove was also the hardest decision for me to accomplish because I thought I was never able to actually meet anyone who'd I would feel that spark, Feel that genuine happiness, feel that " This will be my last relationship". So many words I've speeched towards the past mens, It was so complicated. They never respected my thoughts, and my feelings. It wasn't what they actually wanted. I wish I can take all those words back because they were measurable and belonged to someone else who I could actually really relate.  I found that guy. He's not just a someone, not just my Boyfriend, but he's also my bestfriend. Because of him, Now I know love really does exist. Because of him I know who to actually care for. He's the reason my dreams, hope, those simple words, came back. A future? I don't mind asking. But the presents where we are living in, I appreciate every moment that I spend with him. My frame has shined out, My life has found it's missing pieces. Everything is possible in this life. So hard to believe that he is here with me. To love me, Hold me, Cheerish, and understand me. I've never felt so fortunate, so great in my life.

A man who is welling to do everything for you, Giving time, making no excuses. It's really hard to find someone out there like that. I don't repent, nor any regretion. I am thankful for having him in my life and that's what matters most to me, and what makes me happy. I will be here to make him smile, Laugh, Love, and follow his dreams, Carry on his skills which is Music. I love you.

Continue.....

17 Years...

I was intimiated by my impationts, Moving on allegro, quick, speed, but then forgotten the happiness I was trying to find. Disinclined in memories I create that I may regret, scar for life. Forget the needs, But approve in wants. Afraid to feel the guilt but still perform on following the path of deplore, I may feel... I feel like everything that i've overcome major, was the darkness that impact in my life to learn from my mistakes. Sometimes I can still feel the anguish rushing through my mind down my spine, even if it was an old music that i've heard, thing, place, date, or time.... I kindly try to disregard the depression but by telling myself everything in the pass had a meaning to what the future will reveal after all those times I have gone through, To make it to now. I've granted everyones wish, obeyed everyones authorities. Felt the pain on my knees as I am not religious, But still hoping god will give me a chance to open up while I put my hands together, and preach my speech letting him know from all the way down here to let my happiness count for a very long time. I may have gone through confusion, rain falls from my eyes, I felt like I needed to surrender, But all of this wasn't to prove that I had to stop what I was living for. I am indepedent, and Understandable in my own ways. I will never give up on my hopes to proceed better days, To feel happier each day of my life. It's because of my choices that makes me become a better person/ or worse. It's me who will give my own life, It's me who'll reach out for a happy ever after.